Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The end of the road

When you shared so must of your life with someone, ending it is never easy, regardless of what the reason is. 

Looking back and  trying to make sense of the decision of what deemed necessary, but however assertive I was, I am always be doubtful of the decision that I have made. If only I could hold on longer, better and lived life more patiently. Then, maybe, just maybe, I would not feel so tired. 

No matter how you are trying to forget those quarrel and fights that you had, or reminiscing the good times together, both are equally painful. 

The thought of someone being unhappy because of you was unbearable and filled your heart with guilt, questioning again whether if you will live the decision with regrets.

But I am sure I will not. Its a path I have taken and dreaded to. After all, three years is not a short period but neither is it long.

Close friends knew about it but only few understand. Many asked me if there is any chance of reconciliation without knowing what went wrong in the first place. I was deeply sadden that its the relationship that concerns them, and not the one sitting in front of them, someone whom they knew and perhaps thought the break up was an act of hasty judgement.

But, on the other hand, how could I detail what went wrong to invite judgmental thoughts against the other party? I have been vague because I did not expect them to understand. After all, love is about the matter of two person, two families if considered marriage, or not. 

Yet, one thing I am sure. I want to tell her that I have really tried. And I am tired of trying anymore. 

Time will surely heal. Till then, this heart needs mending. 

Yours truly,
a broken heart with tears kept hidden,
so that you would not see,
the frowns replaced by awkward smile,
the emotions hidden deep within me. 

There is nothing much to convey,
nor comfort given, for I am well,
Time is all I need to rid away,
the sadness that longed to dwell.

I knew I am brave enough to love again,
for my heart, slowly it will mend, 
but broken love is not like waves
washing away footprints in the sand...


pix by Google

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